🕵️‍♀️ Saving money feels impossible? Here's why.

Hello, reader.

It’s Chloe Silverpaws. 💚

Welcome to the grown-ups section, where I'll do my best to convince you that saving money isn't Mission: Impossible. Bear in mind that I may be a little biased because I've never really struggled with it, as saving money has always been my non-negotiable habit.

My driving force behind that is simple – I do enjoy the thought of having a safety net. Knowing that I have money in my bank account that can get me out of a bad situation gives me peace of mind. I love being prepared for anything and everything life throws at me. Whether it’s a bad job with a nasty boss or a major conflict with my partner, I know that I can save myself. The savings in my account have already bought me the most important thing – freedom. Here, I am mostly referring to an Emergency Fund, which I prefer to call "My Emergency Carrot Stash," but let's start with baby steps.

Before we start talking about emergency funds or saving strategies, we first need to figure out why saving feels so difficult in the first place. Once we catch the carrot thieves, building your carrot stash will become a whole lot easier.

Now it's time to put on your detective hat. 🕵️‍♂️

You will need to identify the behaviors that keep robbing you of your savings. Here, we call them carrot thieves. 

Also, your saving account = carrot stash.

Let’s begin the investigation.

It’s Friday night. You just got home from work. You’re tired, could use a drink but you’ve already ran out of your “Fun” expenses. A friend just called you with a decent hang-out offer and you’re kinda tempted. First you decline the offer, trying to be reasonable and you tell your friend how tired you are and how you’d rather have a quiet one tonight really. You feel good about yourself because you resisted. You open a book, make some tea and light three-four aroma scented candles. 

Another call follows after an hour and a half from another friend. Apparently, that place they went is to die for and you’re really missing out. Someone in the background jokingly calls you lame. You laugh but found the comment quite hurtful. You closed the book, blew the candles out and started getting ready for a night out. You’re getting paid on Monday anyways, you’ll tap into your savings account just for tonight and you’ll put it all back on pay day. It’s not a big deal, is it?

Actually, even if it doesn’t seem like it, two-three times of such behavior can seriously damage your saving process. It’s not because the money is less. Let’s say you kept your word and restored the amount after pay day. The problem isn't the money. It's what your brain learns. Once it enters the savings account, this money is “spent”. It paid for something else – new phone, a dream destination, home renovation. Making withdraws from your savings account messes up with the association your brain created. Instead of it being like “Saving account – paid, money - gone.”, now the link is broken. If it happened once, it can happen twice. If it happened twice, third time is round around the corner.

One carrot here, one carrot there… Wait, I’m out of carrots again!

Peer pressure can be hard to overcome, which is why one of the most important skills you can develop is learning to stand your ground. Every time you break a promise you made to yourself by dipping into your savings, your own word loses a little of its value. And if you don't take your own promises seriously, don't expect other people to treat them any differently. They'll learn that changing your mind only takes a little convincing. This hurts both your saving journey and your personal boundaries.

Please don't get me wrong—I wouldn't say the people around you are necessarily bad. Their priorities are simply different. They'd rather go out more, spend more, and have more "fun". But why should their fun come at your expense?

It’s a beautiful sunny day. You’re walking down the street feeling proud of yourself because you’re about to meet your savings goal. You have been really strict – salary goes into savings and necessities, nothing else. Soon it will all be worth it. It’s really close, only a couple hundred more and you’ll finally start that renovation your old house desperately needs.

You finally reach the main street because you’re meeting a friend there for some proper girl talk. The café isn’t too far now, only ten more minutes. All of a sudden, this proud walk starts feeling like borderline torture. Wherever you look, it feels like every store has put out the prettiest clothes and shoes you’ve seen in your entire life right there in front of your yearning gaze just to tease you. You see gorgeous collections on jaw-dropping discounts.

What’s the point of having all that money in your savings account if you can’t spend it once in a while on pretty things? They always have the best outfits on display when you’re on a no-spending diet.

Suddenly, the day doesn’t feel so beautiful. It’s not even sunny. As a matter of fact, a massive storm cloud seems to be following you around.

Your coffee date passes, but you’re still grumpy. You decide to take a sneak peek into one store. You walk into the second one. Try on a couple of shirts and skirts in the third. You walk out of the fourth store with new shoes, some dresses, and a bunch of stuff you didn’t need.

You go home all happy and start trying on your new possessions. As you’re checking yourself out in the mirror, you notice the chopped wallpaper behind you. You look down at your new shoes and there it is—that dusty old floor pattern. You realize you don’t even look as good as you thought you did in those clothes.

But the worst part? This shopping spree has just set your renovation back by a few months.

Have you heard the phrase, "The grass is always greener on the other side"? Even if you haven’t, you’ve just experienced exactly what it means. There will always be temptations around you. If you see them as everything you can't have, it will be much harder to stay committed to your saving journey. But constantly telling yourself "I don't have money" can be just as damaging.

I mentioned a no-spending diet earlier. Everybody knows that diets only work to a certain extent. Eventually, you get tired of starving yourself and end up on a binge-eating weekend. You go after everything you can get your hands on... and regret it afterward because you've gained the weight back.

Saving works the same way.

If you forbid yourself from everything, you'll eventually binge.

Just not on food. It will be on shopping.

Mr. Binge has one rule: if he's eating carrots, he's eating all of them.

Your salary can absolutely cover a little treat here and there. Just make sure there's still enough left to feed your savings account.

It’s a Sunday afternoon. You’re at the park with some friends. After checking the weather last week, the group chat decided it would be great for everyone to gather and have a picnic today. Everybody brought something useful – blankets, drinks, food and a deck of cards.

Conversation was flowing, stories about jobs and forms of education were swapped around, recommendations on books and series as well, when suddenly, they reached your “favorite” subject. Someone brought up the topic of savings, investing, and future financial goals. It seemed like everyone around you had improved their saving habits and developed better financial strategies. Some had seen impressive growth in their savings and weren’t timid to share it.

You’re the only one who isn’t saying much because you have nothing to add. You actually have no experience whatsoever in this field because you never had to save for anything. Your parents are well-off, you got your house and car from them. You have a savings account but you treat it like a regular one – you put in, you take out.

You just don’t see the point in it because when you really want something your salary usually covers it. If you can’t buy it this month, you’ll try the next one. You can always ask your parents as well and if they refuse - there are always leasing plans, loans and credit cards available. Who even needs savings accounts?

*Mr. Clueless isn't stealing your carrots... he's making sure you'll never have any.*

You finally got asked to share your opinion on the matter but after you did, the conversation suddenly dried up.

Having parents that are always there for you is one of the best things in the world. However, relying on their financial support until the day they pass away may do you more harm than good.

The problem isn't that your parents help you. The problem is that they have become your emergency fund.

Building a good relationship with money is something that will stay with you forever. Learning how to save is one of the most important financial skills you'll ever develop. The sooner you start treating your finances like friends and not enemies, the better.

Relying on credit cards, loans, and leasing to fund your lifestyle can be just as unhealthy as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. The reason is simple: late fees, interest, and debt have a way of piling up once you've spent more than you can afford. One missed payment turns into two. Before you know it, part of your salary is already spoken for before it even reaches your bank account.

Start somewhere small. Pick a savings goal of $100–200. Make sure to decide what you’ll be spending this money on. Better yet, give it a name. That pretty bracelet you saw at the mall yesterday, or that gorgeous dress you really liked on some shopping site – earn them.

You can do it, all you have to do is give that savings account a “saving” purpose and start filling it up. As you get better at saving, keep raising your goals. Just remember where you started from and what you’re doing all this for.

Right now it can be for an accessory, later – it will be your security.

~ Investigation completed. ~

🐰 CARROT POLICE DEPARTMENT

CASE STATUS: CLOSED

Suspect: Mr. Peer Pressure

Crime: Breaking and Entering an Emergency Carrot Stash

Verdict: GUILTY

🐰 CARROT POLICE DEPARTMENT

CASE STATUS: CLOSED

Suspect: Mr. Binge

Crime: Grand Carrot Theft

Verdict: GUILTY.

🐰 CARROT POLICE DEPARTMENT

CASE STATUS: CLOSED

Suspect: Mr. Clueless

Crime: Aiding and Abetting Carrot Theft

Verdict: GUILTY.

~~~~

Congratulations, detective.

You caught the carrot thieves.

Now your Emergency Carrot Stash finally has a chance to grow.